I love it when I hear something that makes me stop and think.

I love it when I read something that makes me reflect and ponder.

The difference between fitting in and belonging is
that fitting in requires you to become who others want you to be;
belonging is bringing your whole self and being accepted as you.
~ Brené Brown

A couple of days ago, I read this beautiful quote from Brené Brown.  For those of you who don’t know Brené, she’s a shame researcher and has written 2 fabulous books on shame and imperfection.

Her beautiful words made me think of all the times I’ve been trying to fit in, living up to the expectations of others – real or imagined.

And then.

Yesterday evening, as I was removing my contact lenses in front of the bathroom mirror, it struck me.

How I was trying to fit in.

Even with such a simple, plain, small, ordinary thing as removing my lenses.

With no-one watching.  No-one judging. No-one keeping score.

You see, I have developed this awkward, inelegant, eyes half closed, but “hey, I can quickly remove my lenses like this” way of removing my lenses.

Yet, I found myself not doing it that way.

Yet, I found myself struggling to remove my lenses.

Yet, I found myself trying to do it the “official” way.

The way the lovely lady at the optician’s taught me.

The way “it should be done”.  The way “everybody does it”.

As I got teary-eyed, with the contact lens still firmly holding onto my eye, it hit me.

What the heck am I doing?

Who cares if I do it the “official” way or not?

I found a way that works for me.

Agreed, it is not the most elegant way.

But it is a way that works brilliantly.  Every time I do it.    Quick and smooth.  Not a tear shed.

My way works like a charm.

For me.

So why struggle to do it any other way?

Where are you trying to fit in?  Where are you abandoning your way to do it the “official” way?


Photo from here.

2 Responses to How fitting in can make a girl all teary-eyed.

  1. Tonya says:

    I struggle with this all the time. I spend so much time thinking about where other people are and how do I get there, or why can’t I be where he/she is, that I don’t even focus on my own strengths and talents, and what I can bring to the world. I have to work on it every day!

    • An says:

      As a recovering comparison junkie, I can so relate! The way I look at it now is that their strengths and talents, and their path are completely irrelevant to us. Because their strenghts and talents don’t say anything about ours. And their path doesn’t say anything about our path. We can never be who they are. And they can never be us. We can merely inspire each other by being a brilliant example of what is possible by walking our own path, step by step, day by day, at our own pace, in our own brilliant ways. And what I’ve found to be the best thing, is that by doing just that, we empower and inspire ourselves to be even more of who we are!

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