Sometimes I give because I secretely want something in return.

Sometimes I want you to do me a favor.

Sometimes I want you to like me.

Sometimes I want you to not get mad at me.

Sometimes I want you to not get disappointed in me.

Sometimes I want you to approve of me.

Sometimes I want your help.

Sometimes I want you to say how great I am.

And so I give.

And wait for you to give something back to me.

But then nothing happens.

And I feel disappointed.

Not that I asked you for a favor in return.

Not that I made my request for your love, approval or help public.

Often I even don’t make these requests public to myself.

But I always give myself away.

Because of the way I feel after I’ve given and got nothing in return.

And so I made a deal with myself. To give unconditionally.

You don’t like me.  I don’t care.

You don’t say how great I am.  I don’t care.

You don’t help me.  I don’t care.

I gave because I wanted to.

I gave you my time and attention because I loved to listen.

I helped you out because I care about you.

I gave you that present because choosing that gift for you made me so excited.

I gave you my smile because I genuinely thought you were funny.

I gave you a different perspective because doing that lights my fire.

I hugged you because I love you.

I made a deal with myself. To give unconditionally.

And sometimes that means that you don’t get what you used to get from me anymore.

Because I noticed I just gave you something because I secretely wanted something in return from you.

And so I stopped giving.  Or told you what I wanted.

Sometimes that makes you feel disappointed.

And that’s fine with me, because I know that it is not me doing that.

It’s just your thoughts about what you think I should do.

I give because I want to give, whatever you do.

And that makes me such a generous giver.

Photo from here.

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