Sometimes we believe that achieving that thing will make us happy.

Delivering that project.

Buying that house.

Taking that trip.

Meeting that person.

Getting their approval.

Having 2000 Facebook friends.

Living that perfect life.


Sometimes we believe we need that thing to feel happy.

And so we are in a hurry to get it.

Because we want to leave our place of unhappy as soon as we can.

And that damn thing is holding the key.

So better get it.

Right now.


And so we start working on that thing.

With energy.  And dedication.



But then we drop the ball.

We procrastinate.  We daydream.

We keep making plans.  But do nothing.

And get mad at ourselves for not doing more.

We feel shackles on.  Stuck.  Trapped.

And unhappy.

And we believe even more that we need that damn thing to feel happy.


But what if we believed that there is no hurry?

That we just have to take it one step at a time.

That we don’t need that thing to be happy.

That we hold the key to our happiness.

That we can be happy.  Right here.  Right now.


Working on that project and investing in ourselves doing just that.

Appreciating the awesome light falling through the huge living room windows, that funky kitchen table, the cosy couch we so often curl up in with a book.

Exploring our neighbourhood with the fresh eyes of a traveler.

Being the playful adventurous person we wanna meet.

Getting our own approval.

Cherishing the 10 Facebook friends we have right now.

Falling in love with our fabulous imperfect selves.


Imagine how different we would feel without the need for that thing to happen.

Imagine how much more energy we would have.

Imagine how much more possibilities we would see.

That might – oh the irony – actually make that thing happen.

But we don’t need it anymore to feel happy.

We already got what we were after.

Right here.  Right now.


Photo from here.


22 Responses to Desperately seeking Happy.

  1. Mindy Crary says:

    I love this, An! It reminds me of my struggle with attachment–that things have to play out a certain way or on a certain timeline for me to be happy. Every time I get hung up on that, I have to take a breath and step back and get in the present moment again. Whenever I do that, I am reminded that nothing has to be a “certain way” for me to be happy–I can be happy right now. And when I step back, things seem to magically work themselves out, usually in a better way than if I had forced it :o)

  2. You are a beautiful writer An. I just this week had it occur to me, that success in my business is already here and some of the things I wish for will be her just in time. It feels good!

    • An says:

      Thanks, Katie! ‘Success is already here’ – love this! So often we take all the hard work we did and the things we achieved for granted. ‘Success is already here’ is such a powerful place to work and live from. You go girl! Big hug!

  3. Lenny says:

    Wow! Nice words!
    Something to think about because it’s very recognizable.
    I know all this is true, but it’s soooo difficult to keep this in mind.
    But … I’ll keep on reading your blog posts, and in the end …
    I’ll be where I wanna be… 🙂 (I hope) 🙂

    • An says:

      LOL! And on a serious note, I so agree with you that it’s really easy to get caught up in so much wanting something to happen. But I’ve found that there’s so much power in catching yourself doing it, then taking a deep breath and refocusing again. What I’ve found helpful in shaking off my belief that that thing would make me happy, is imagining how I could also feel unhappy in that new house, stressed on that holiday and feeling like a failure with 2000 Facebook friends. That shows me that that thing does not guarantee happiness. That guarantee is just something I’m projecting on it.

  4. Dana Boyle says:


    I love both the simplicity of this piece and the message/lesson. It’s perfect for me right now.

    What would my life be like without wanting the thing I think I have to have NOW to be happy? Hmmmm…

    Thank you for that, and blessings to you.


    • An says:

      Thanks, Dana! And you can still want the thing AND be ok with where you are now. That’s where the magic happens 🙂

  5. Madison S. says:

    “We procrastinate. We daydream. We keep making plans. But do nothing. And get mad at ourselves for not doing more.”

    That sentence is the story of my life right now. I may have a problem with procrastinating and over-planning, but I do take a step toward my goal every day—even if it’s just a little baby step.

    This post reminds me that I’m still making progress and that I don’t need that thing I’m chasing after right now in order to be happy and enjoy the moment in front of me.

    One of my favorite quotes is, “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go—so long as you do not stop.” 🙂

    <3 Madison

    • An says:

      Oooh, I’m a huge fan of baby steps, Madison! And I believe that when we take those baby steps from a place of abundant possibilities and a place of being ok with where we are right now, we become unstoppable! Big hug! xo

  6. Blaze says:

    Happy for me today has included:

    Smiling and laughing at the sun.
    Drinking in bird songs.
    Inviting and allowing a gentle sun kissed skin before 10:30 am.
    Taking a walk with my beloved.
    Cooing like the new born baby harbor seals.
    Commenting on An’s words of wisdom….

    ….Ah, life is sweet, good, and oh so happy!

  7. Debra Smouse says:

    You hit the nail on the head for me with this line: “Falling in love with our fabulous imperfect selves.”

    Lovely, loving, beautiful post. Thank you, An.

  8. Joanna says:

    Oh. Heck. Yes.

    I can be happy right now, even though I am on the tail end of a cold, even though I am not accomplishing what I intended to today, even though I can not pick up the novel I requested because the library is closed. I can be happy right now, even though I will not be going out to dinner tonight with a good friend.

    Thank you for the reminder!

  9. Sally says:

    After reading this, I want to put down my computer and go do this right now:
    “Exploring our neighbourhood with the fresh eyes of a traveler.”

    Not because I think that will make me happy, but because, as you point out, the doing of it IS happiness. Thanks for this excellent reminder of loving what is and being present for life as it’s happening!

  10. Lin E says:

    Hi An… just found your site. Me likey. Great post… thank you. Happiness is available whenever we want it, right?

  11. Yvette says:

    Wholly cow! I LOVE this!!! You are a beautiful writer. Hell yeah, I just decided to be happy right now!

    You nailed it with this – What would my life be like without wanting the thing I think I have to have NOW to be happy? hmmmm….

    Thank you for the reminder to appreciate what we have and that its okay to want things, but you have to be happy even when you cannot have those things right then and there when you want them. Awesome post!

    EZ Business Growth
    Business Leverage Strategist

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