“I can not do that right now!  That’s so wildly scary.  No, no way.”

[Thoughtful silence]

“Now, don’t get me wrong.  I really wanna do that thing, but I know I’ll perform so much better without my fears.
I’m gonna take my time and wait till my fears are gone.
And till I’m feeling really really confident.”

 

 

Sometimes we really wanna do something we’ve never done before.

Something that excites us.

Something that scares us at the same time.

We love the excitement.

We hate the fear.

So much that we just stop in our tracks.

 

And then that something we really wanna do, becomes something we’ll do.

Someday.

When our fears are gone.

And we are just left with the excitement.

That’s when we’ll do that thing.

That’s when we’ll step up and step out.

That’s when we’ll shine.

 

But the thing is that Fear seems to like it here.

Fear doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to go.

It’s just us feeling uncomfortable.

Hoping to get rid of that Fear.

But ditching our dreams instead.

Because we believe the myth to be true.

That we can only do something after we’ve gotten rid of the fear.

That we can only give it our all when we are fear free.

That we can only shine when we feel confident and fearless.

 

What we tend to forget is that we can do that thing thanks to the fear.

When we listen to the risks Fear is pointing out.

And separate out the drama from its valid concerns.

That’s when we start to fear less.

That’s when we get to improve our plan with its valuable remarks.

That’s when we get to make our idea stronger.

 

What we tend to forget is that we can do that thing with the fear.

Knowing we make the final call, not Fear.

Accepting we have no crystal ball.

Trusting that we will handle whatever comes up.

Proving to ourselves that we’ve got what it takes.

By giving it our all.

Thanks to the fear.

With the fear.

Knowing it’s about fear less.

Not fear free.

 

What dream are you giving up on because you believe you need to be fear free before you can go ahead?

 

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
~ Unknown


Photo from here.

18 Responses to I’m really gonna do this. (I’m just waiting till my fears are gone.)

  1. michele says:

    writing.I thought I would become a novelist but fear has kept me from ever doing that. wow. I said it out loud!

    • An says:

      Yay! Love how you felt the fear of saying it out loud and … did it anyway! You said it! And now there’s no way back! :) If this is still your dream, explore why you wanna be a novelist, what attracts you to the idea of being a novelist. Then, really feel your fears, have a look a them and listen to what they tell you and separate out the valid concerns from the worst case scenario drama queen “this is never gonna work” remarks. I remember when I wanted to start my blog, I had lots of those drama queen “this is never gonna work” beliefs racing through my mind (“no-one is gonna read this”, “no-one is gonna like what you write”, “everybody will think this blog thing is just stupid and crazy”, “there’s so much writing out there that’s so much better”, “your writing is not good enough”, “this is just a waste of time”, “this is not gonna work, you might as well give up now”). Any of these sound familiar? :)

      • michele says:

        all too familiar, especially “your writing is not good enough.” I gave your idea of separation some thought and I really don’t have a valid concern other than “I can’t live without a paycheck!” Lots and lots of drama, though…excuses…and I also find it interesting that I gave up the dream (not just put it aside). ouch. Thanks for sharing your doubts as well–I find you very inspiring!

        • An says:

          Aww, thanks, Michele! There’s a quote I love that goes “Writers write.” (cool quote, huh :) ) It’s so very simple and so very true. We don’t need to have a published book to be a writer. Or be a journalist. Or have a 1 million visitors blog. Or have made writing our day job. We can be a writer right here right now. We can carve out some time to write each day and play with it. Writing makes us a writer. Not that business card that says “writer”. And that is so cool.

  2. Mindy Crary says:

    Such a great reminder, thank you An! It reminds me a little of a powerful book I read years ago, called “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway,” by Jeffers, I believe. Great post!

  3. Lenny says:

    True … but so difficult!
    Nice words at the end: “it’s about fear less, not fear free …”
    I so love the photo that you chose!! Really cute!
    (adorable little cowboy boots) ;)

    • An says:

      Difficult, challenging and… *drumroll* totally do-able :) So many people that “made it” and seem to ooze confidence have stepped out of their comfort zone time and again, not because they were fearless, but because they felt the fear and decided to do it anyway, one (tiny) step at a time.
      And the thing is, we too have all done it before, when we learned to drive a bike, went to school all by ourselves for the first time, did that dreaded school presentation, made new friends, went to university, … We felt scared with worst case scenarios racing through our minds, we de-dramatized (“maybe it will not be that bad”, “I can always get back up when I fall”, “so many others have done it too”, “I won’t be alone – my best friend will be there too”, “I can always give it a try and see what happens”, …), we still felt some fear and did it anyway.

  4. So true! We forget that fear can be learned from and disregarded.

  5. I used to think I couldn’t share my knowledge in front of live people. I hid behind writing and teleconference calls. Until I did my first live talk. I handled that fear finally instead of letting it handle me! Thanks for the great thoughts An.

  6. Debra Smouse says:

    The only path forward sometimes is to “do it scared”. And each time you do it scared, it builds your courage muscles to take bigger and bolder actions.

    • An says:

      Absolutely. Each time you “do it scared” you prove to yourself that you can do it with the fear, that you can handle it and that is so powerful.

  7. “What we tend to forget is that we can do that thing with the fear.”

    Love, love, love this! It seems like we had similar ideas last week. It’s so easy to get held back by that fear when the fear is a normal part of the process. You’re right – we shouldn’t wait until we are fear free. The fear shouldn’t hold us back from getting to our dreams.

  8. Adam says:

    Yup fear doesn’t go away. Not ever usually. It’s just beaten. Today. Everyday. Sweet post, An.

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