Sometimes we feel lost.

Sometimes we feel as if we’re living in a jungle of questions.

With no answers.

That’s when we look at others to provide us the answer.

The magical formula.

So that we can be doing exactly as they do.

So that we can be living exactly the way they live.

But the thing is that there is not one answer.  We all need to do our thing, in our own way, at our own pace.

And the thing is that there is not one magical formula.  What works for them might not work for us.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

Others can make us rethink how we wanna live our lives and how we put ourselves out there in the world.

Others can offer us a way of looking at things that are exciting, new and energizing.

Others can be powerful inspiring examples of what can be.

But their answers will only make sense for us when we’ve played with them.

When we’ve applied them.

When we’ve tested them.

When we’ve learned from that experience.

When we’ve kept what worked for us and ditched the rest.

Their answers are like words.

But we have to write the book.

Our own book.

Not theirs.

Using some of the words they do.

But throwing in lots of different ones too.

And maybe even inventing a few funky new ones.

Stringing them together in beautifully crafted phrases.

Or messy sketches.

Or organised bullet points.

Creating our own storyline.

In our own unique style.

With our own unique voice.

Writing that book.

Our book.

That we just can’t put down.

Because we’re making it that damn good.

Photo from here.



16 Responses to Watch what they do. (But don’t do as they do.)

  1. Mindy Crary says:

    You’ve hit upon something that has been very difficult for me–trying to model others to recreate their success. And you’re echoing something going around the blog sphere this week–that what might work for one person may not work for you. Ugh, this is a hard one for me! Sometimes it’s easier to NOT break new ground :o)

    • An says:

      🙂 Well, the way I see it, the key is to figure out what works for us and what doesn’t. And embrace what works for us and ditch the rest. And find ways that do work for us instead. I believe that the most fulfilling way to create our own success is doing just that. No need to break new ground when the familiar and tested works for us. No need to stick to the “proven rules” when they don’t sit well with us, but finding our own way of doing things instead. Which can be a different flavor of the “proven rules”, our very own mix of “proven stuff” or the “proven stuff” with our very own twist, voice and style or our very own “inventions”.

  2. Gail Kenny says:

    I have found that it’s always way more complex and messy than I think. Even when other people share their experience and success in how they did, whatever it is, they present it in an organized and logical way, but that’s not really how it was experienced at the time, because in order to share it they had to organize it first.

    • An says:

      That’s such a good point, Gail. It so often is a messy process, with ups and downs, unexpected twists and turns, things that are thrown at us, challenges to overcome, … Yet often we get to think it should be organised and logical and simple and neat, because that might be how we perceive their journey to success. And compared to that our journey seems so messy and failure-y. And so we start believing we must be doing something wrong, or that we don’t deserve it, or that we are not capable enough, or that it’s just so hard and not meant to be. But the mess and ups and downs are just part of the journey. For all of us.

  3. Lenny says:

    Nicely written.
    Love the “creating our own storyline – in our own voice-
    making our own book that we can’t put down bc
    it’s so damn good!”
    wowza….!!! inspired!!!

  4. Lovely! It really is easy to fall into the trap of trying to imitate others, either out of insecurity or enjoy or confusion (or all of the above), but it never works out. And it’s not being true to ourselves, which is the only way to create *real* joy and success.

    • An says:

      “And it’s not being true to ourselves, which is the only way to create *real* joy and success.” So agree with you, Joanna. Even when doing stuff that’s not in line with who we are, would bring us success in the outside world, we would end up feeling empty and drained and unfulfilled.

  5. Blaze says:

    Say goodbye blueprints, secrets, and one-size-fits-all.

    And hello to brilliance, transparency, and dance like a wild child in your underwear!

  6. Debra Smouse says:

    Create your own trails. Make your own music. Just the message I need this week!

  7. Sally says:

    This reminds me of (many years ago) a button that was for sale at my college store. It said, in block letters, simply: Be. You. We can imitate all we want and yet not “get there” because our “there” may look much different. Sometimes messier, sometimes easier. Love your poetic writing style, too!

  8. You are totally gorgeous.
    xx Denise DT
    Author of ‘Lucky Bitch’

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