Somehow we got the idea that if we are perfect,

we won’t be judged.

 

Somehow we got the idea that

if we play it safe, agree,

say as they say, do as they do, like what they like,

say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right kind of person,

we won’t be judged.

 

But the truth is,

we will.

 

Even if we

play it safe, agree,

say as they say, do as they do, like what they like,

say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right kind of person.

We will be judged.

 

Actually, we are probably being judged

right now.

 

We are probably too loud or not loud enough,

too outspoken or not outspoken enough,

too kind, or not kind enough,

too crazy and wild, or not crazy and wild enough,

for someone out there.

 

So we might as well be judged when we are being who we truly are

instead of being judged for that manufactured version of ourselves we are putting out there.

 

And even though that sounds like a harsh truth,

it’s actually a liberating one;

freeing ourselves from that constant pressure to sculpt ourselves to their image

and that constant vigilance to keep ourselves in sync with their views and expectations,

unchaining our feel-good-about-ourselves from their validation or disapproval.

 

And yes, disconnecting ourselves from their truths might be scary,

because we believe we’ll end up alone, lost and not understood.

 

But the irony is that forcing ourselves to hang out with people that don’t get the real us

- because we’ve been hiding her so carefully,

for them and ourselves -

is a recipe for feeling alone, lost and not understood.

By them.  And ourselves.

 

(Even though we would be the last ones

to admit that to ourselves.)

 

The truth is, allowing ourselves to be who we are and who we are not,

one tiny step at a time,

is energizing, soul-filling and heart-warming,

inviting in the people that get us for who we truly are,

effortlessly and inevitably.

 

And the truth is, being in sync with who we truly are,

nurturing who we are and

embracing who we are not,

is the only recipe for feeling loved, grounded and understood.

By them.  And ourselves.

 

And that is where our work is – being who we are,

and loving ourselves for exactly that.

 

 

Photo from here.
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2 Responses to If we are perfect, we won’t be judged. Right?

  1. Lenny says:

    Beautiful post … difficult topic …
    Just the right choice of words … fab job, as always!!

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