We wanna change our life.

We wanna do new things.

We wanna stop doing old things.

 

And then we wanna convince them to do the same.

To approve and agree.

To change too.

 

We want them to say how right we are.

We want them to say that this is the best idea they’ve ever heard.

We want them to say Of course, sure, I’m in!

 

We want their reassurance that we’re doing the right thing.

We want their stamp of approval.

We want the comfort of having them change too.

 

And when they don’t understand, we explain more vigorously.

When they don’t approve, we can only think about how they are letting us down.

When they don’t change, we blame them for holding us back.

 

And we both lose,

stuck in endless heated discussions,

stuck in anger and sadness and not feeling understood.

 

But we don’t need them to change when we do.

We don’t need them to approve so that we can do our thing.

We don’t need them to agree to know what’s right for us.

 

We can do our thing – even when they think we’re wrong.

We can be an example of what can be – even when they disapprove.

We can change what we do and how we do it – even when they don’t.

 

And that’s when we both win,

letting each other be who we are, right there, right then,

without pressuring each other to be someone we are not (yet).

 
 

Photo from here.
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2 Responses to When they don’t wanna change.

  1. Lenny says:

    Beautiful post!! As usual!! Love it!!

    Especially love this part: quote: “We can do our thing – even when they think we’re wrong. We can be an example of what can be – even when they disapprove.
    We can change what we do and how we do it – even when they don’t.”
    Must keep this in mind, must keep this in mind, must … 🙂

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