I’ve just found 10 000 ways

that won’t work.

~ Thomas Edison

A quote.  A musing.

And I thought, why not throw in a video?

Notice how I apparently got a thing for the thing.  Plus there’s the deep insight that the thing is the thing!

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Imperfection keeps us stuck in mediocrity.

Imperfection is just being lazy and nonchalant, throwing our lives away.

Imperfection doesn’t really care and is not committed to getting any better.

Imperfection keeps us small and utterly unsuccessful.

Well, that’s not my experience.

Imperfection makes me expand and get better.  And better.  And better.

Imperfection inspires me to go out and do things.

Imperfection encourages me to experiment and learn.

Imperfection knows mistakes are all part of the game and makes me do anything to learn and grow.

Imperfection makes me feel eager and playful.

Imperfection doesn’t care one bit about who I’m supposed to be.

Imperfection loves it when I give my dreams a go.

Imperfection is the biggest fan.  Of me.

Imperfection constantly reminds me how brilliantly unique everybody is.  Comparing just doesn’t make any sense.

Imperfection is full of compassion and encourages me to be ridiculously honest with myself.

Imperfection makes me do things wholeheartedly, giving it my all, regardless of what you might think about me.

Imperfection believes I’m really smart.  And way funny.  And so mesmerizingly interesting.

And when I believe that I do anything but staying in my comfort zone.

And when I believe that I do anything but throwing my life away.

In fact, I’m living it.

To the fullest.

This blog post has got a twin sister!  Check out last Monday’s blog post “Perfection makes us thrive.  (And other lies we tell ourselves.)”

Photo by me.

Perfection makes us thrive.

Perfection makes us step out of our comfort zone.

Perfection makes us get better.  And better.  And better.

Perfection makes us unstoppably successful.

Well, that’s not my experience.

Perfection makes me shrink.

Perfection makes me wanna curl up in ball and hide from the world.

Perfection hates making mistakes and makes me do everything to avoid failing.

Perfection holds endless conversations in my mind explaining with vigor why I shouldn’t do something.

Perfection makes me feel defeated and throw in the towel.

Perfection overwhelms me with mile high expectations of who I’m supposed to be.

Perfection loves to tell me how stupid and silly my dreams are.

Perfection makes me give up.  On me.

Perfection makes me forget myself and live out someone else’s expectations instead.

Perfection constantly reminds me how I fall short when compared to others.

Perfection is the great pretender – pretending to be cool on the outside but full of harsh self talk on the inside.

Perfection makes me do things half-heartedly, constantly worrying about what you might say about me, instead of focusing all my energy on the thing I’m doing.

Perfection makes me believe I’m not smart enough.  Not funny enough.  Not interesting enough.

And when I believe that I do anything but stepping out of my comfort zone.

And when I believe that I do anything but thrive.

In fact, I’m not living my life.

I’m putting it on hold till I’m perfect.

This blog post has got a twin sister!  Check out next Monday’s blog post “Imperfection keeps us stuck in mediocrity.  (And other lies we tell ourselves.)”

Photo by me.

Sometimes we believe that achieving that thing will make us happy.

Delivering that project.

Buying that house.

Taking that trip.

Meeting that person.

Getting their approval.

Having 2000 Facebook friends.

Living that perfect life.

Sometimes we believe we need that thing to feel happy.

And so we are in a hurry to get it.

Because we want to leave our place of unhappy as soon as we can.

And that damn thing is holding the key.

So better get it.

Right now.

And so we start working on that thing.

With energy.  And dedication.

Rushed.

But then we drop the ball.

We procrastinate.  We daydream.

We keep making plans.  But do nothing.

And get mad at ourselves for not doing more.

We feel shackles on.  Stuck.  Trapped.

And unhappy.

And we believe even more that we need that damn thing to feel happy.

But what if we believed that there is no hurry?

That we just have to take it one step at a time.

That we don’t need that thing to be happy.

That we hold the key to our happiness.

That we can be happy.  Right here.  Right now.

Working on that project and investing in ourselves doing just that.

Appreciating the awesome light falling through the huge living room windows, that funky kitchen table, the cosy couch we so often curl up in with a book.

Exploring our neighbourhood with the fresh eyes of a traveler.

Being the playful adventurous person we wanna meet.

Getting our own approval.

Cherishing the 10 Facebook friends we have right now.

Falling in love with our fabulous imperfect selves.

Imagine how different we would feel without the need for that thing to happen.

Imagine how much more energy we would have.

Imagine how much more possibilities we would see.

That might – oh the irony – actually make that thing happen.

But we don’t need it anymore to feel happy.

We already got what we were after.

Right here.  Right now.

Photo from here.

Sometimes I think I need your approval.  For me to live my life.

Sometimes I think I need your permission.  For me to do my thing.

Sometimes I think I need your praise.  For me to feel worthy.

But every time I am fooling myself.

And just making myself feel stuck, trapped and unworthy.

Sometimes I get your approval.

Sometimes I get your permission.

Sometimes I get your praise.

But every time I am fooling myself thinking that that is what I need.

Because after the initial surge of energy, I start doubting your approval, your permission, your praise.

And before I know it, I am back to stuck, trapped and unworthy.

I need my approval. For me to live my life.

I need my permission. For me to do my thing.

I need my praise. For me to feel empowered.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

That doesn’t mean I don’t listen to your advice and wisdom.

That doesn’t mean I don’t seek out your help.

That doesn’t mean I keep saying to myself how great I’m doing when I’m knee deep in shit.

It means that I’m making the final call.

It means that I’m taking responsibility for my choices.

It means I’m choosing to believe in me and what I can bring into the world.

And yes, I’ll fail along the way.

And yes, I’ll be hurt along the way.

And yes, I’ll be disappointed along the way.

But that doesn’t need to extinguish my fire.

Because I can choose to keep it lit.  To fuel it.  To let it shine.

There’s no one else that can do that for me.

Only I can.

I choose to.

What choice do you make?

Photo from here.

with a hot bath,

if you sink into it

from a place of knowing

that you are worth profound care,

even when

you’re dirty and rattled.

~ Anne Lamott

Do things your way. Your brilliance is what we need in the world.

Laugh. A lot.

Say yes when you mean it. And no when it’s not a 100% yes.

Fail. Often. Then dust yourself off and move on.

Don’t get stuck in how things should be. Accept them as they are. And do your thing from that place.

Make your own rules. And break them when they no longer serve you.

Rest. As if your life depends on it. (It does.)

Don’t expect people to know when you need something. Just ask.

Give. Because you want to, regardless of what they’ll do with it.

Indulge in what makes your energy soar.

Let your fascination lead the way.

Play. Abundantly.

Give yourself permission to be who you are.

Give others permission to be who they are.

Some will like you. And some won’t. Be cool with that.

Don’t use harsh words to make you feel bad.

Appreciate praise. But don’t need it to feel good about yourself.

Allow yourself to feel the way you feel. Because you know there’s wisdom to be found in there.

Allow yourself to do the silly thing. Because you know there’s freedom to be found in there.

Dream. Like a child.

Ditch drama. Choose to empower yourself instead.

Apologize for the things you regret doing. Don’t apologize for who you are.

Embrace imperfection. And thrive because of it.

Give it your all. Always.

Honor your unique style. And show it.

Listen to your unique voice. And use it.

Get out there and do your thing. Because it inspires you.

Inspire yourself.

Be you. Unapologetically.

Photo by me.  The crazy hair too.

“I don’t know.”

A phrase we avoid.

Because we don’t wanna look stupid and be the only ones that don’t know while everybody else knows.

Or seems to know.

Because they might be avoiding the “I don’t know” as much as we do.

And so we all keep stuck in the “not knowing” while pretending that we know.

“I wanna know.”

A phrase to use abundantly.

Because we wanna do the smart thing and learn, regardless of what others think about it.

Or seem to think.

Because they might be craving for “I wanna know” as much as we do.

And so recognizing what we don’t know yet, might get us all to explore, learn and grow.

And at the very least, we will.

And that’s what matters.

Photo from here.

“No, I don’t wanna look silly,” she said as we were discussing buying an iPhone over delicious Thai noodles and a glass of crisp white wine.

“I mean, everybody knows all these things about iPhones and stuff and I haven’t got a clue how it works.  I’m not gonna go into a store and ask silly questions about getting an iPhone.  They’ll think I’m a pathetic loser.”

She sipped from her glass of wine.

“But in the meantime, I still don’t know what to do.  I’ve been brooding about getting an iPhone for months now and still haven’t decided yet,”  she sighed.

Isn’t that all too familiar?

How often have we not been in that place of “I don’t know the answer, but I don’t wanna ask the question because I don’t wanna look silly.”

But the real silly thing is that – by doing that – we are keeping ourselves stuck.

Brooding.  Desperate and unhappy in that place of not knowing.  And getting mad at ourselves for being stuck there.

And the fascinating thing is that we are suffering without even having reached out.  Without even having asked that so-called silly question.

We are not suffering because we asked the silly question.

We are suffering because we didn’t.

What if asking that silly question is actually a smart and savvy thing to do?

Because we wanna know the answer.

Because we wanna take that answer and learn from it.

Because we wanna grow and move on.

Because we are the ones that need that knowledge to build on it.

Because we are the ones that need that answer to work with it.

Because we are the ones that need that insight to do our thing in the world.

Because we wanna respect ourselves.

Because we wanna take care of ourselves.

Because we wanna take responsibility for our life.

And that means getting answers to things we just haven’t figured out yet.

And that means asking the questions we would love to get an answer to.

And that means getting the answers where they can be found.

And from that place of responsibility, there are no silly questions.

Just questions.

That are worth asking.

Because we are worth the answer.

This post was inspired by a real conversation a couple of weeks ago.

Photo from here.

can change your entire day.

.

A string of such moments

can change the course of your life.

~ Christopher Germer